What a whirlwind ride. We are all subject to natural ups and downs in our mental health, it would seem this is going to be my state of being for the next 4 to 5 years. I refuse to read any more into it. The last 10 days or so have been difficult to get through. I was unmotivated about everything; not able to bring myself to exercise, eat right or do the basics around the house or at work. I couldn't sleep properly, and yet all I wanted to do was stay in bed. It was more about hiding under the covers than sleeping. The worst part was that I just couldn't think clearly.
I was trying to explain all of this to Rudolf. His solution? Give it a name so I can communicate with minimal words when the thick, blanketing cloud of misery settles over me. We named it Bob. It's a good solution for communication. I feel a sense of relief that I don't have to let loved ones know that they haven't done anything; it's just me; be kind.
Over the last year or so, good healthy routines, and a touch of willpower, have become my new found best friends. I have focused on sleep, when before I thought it was a big inconvenience. I have changed our eating, when before I didn't give much thought to the value of nutrient rich foods. I started to exercise, when previously I just didn't. I think these healthy routines are going to stand me in good stead for what I am finding myself amidst.
Looking to the future, I have so much to do. I don't want to spend it immobilised, hiding under the covers. I am naturally an introvert, so when my mental health takes a down-turn I am more prone to withdrawal. Last week I listened to a Future Squared podcast about introverted entrepreneurs. It gave me hope. All my plans of actively engaging on topics relevant to social inclusion in social media and gathering locals to My Space (our charity) to strengthen community voice are reliant on being social. I want to do this. I really do! I'm going to have to find ways of challenging, confronting and overcoming the limitations of my natural comfort zone.
In addition to all my above listed new found friends, I think I am going to have to establish a relationship with meditation. There is much research out there supporting the health benefits of stilling the mind. This morning I can feel Bob is moving on. Hopefully for a while. I'm no fool though, I know Bob is a part of this stage of life and that it'll be back. In between times I'm going to get started on learning to let the world pass; learning to still myself; learning the strategies of getting through this phase of life without it derailing my plans and my goals. I can do this with my new friends. They will support me and help me manage Bob. I just have to make sure I stay closely connected to them. I can; Bob be damned.